2010-11-14: Adopting a determined approach to an incredible life

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/adopting-a-determined-approach-to-an-incredible-life-2419347.html

By Donal Lynch

Sunday November 14 2010

Midtown Manhattan. A group of six old friends gather in a quiet corner of The Perfect Pint Irish pub. With their shopping bags and warm embraces they could perhaps be tourists, but they are not.

The plastic paddy iconography on the pub’s walls is ironic for these people have a shared history: Americans now, they each carry Irish baggage. As children they were all farmed out from mother-and-baby homes to American adoptive parents, and as adults faced “the same long path of misinformation and stonewalling” as they tried to find out where they really came from. Now they meet regularly here in Manhattan. They are a kind of family to each other. “We share each other’s wall,” one of them tells me. Continue reading »

The adoption tree: the three-roots model

The adoption family tree is one of the The tools you will need in Stage 3 – the education/preparation, started while preparing Session 2 – Exploring adoption family trees and the importance of attachment.

Model usually suggested

Roots mirror branches

The model suggested in the Adoption Handbook described in the Standardised Framework is based on a root-mirrors-branches family tree model.
The model relies on the idea that:

  • the child is the trunk of the tree;
  • the birth family are the roots, the lost past/ground on which the child grows;
  • the adoptive family is the branches in which the child finds the future and support;
  • each side may want/need to know something about the other side, and the child needs to have a picture of both, even if the roots are harder to see and to fathom.

I find this model flawed. Others at Pink Adoptions think it is good… so I only talk in my name here.

Why is it flawed

It sets the birth family firmly in the past. Continue reading »

2010-09-04: Criminal Minds – image of adopted children, and alternative families

Drama series following the FBI’s Behavioural Analysis Unit as they attempt to solve crimes through psychological profiling.

A number of cases involve adopted children who are turning criminal in their quest to seeking their identity, their parents, their past, etc.; and resolving their adoption-related neurosis.
It also involves a number of cases surrounding women or couples abducting children, “gypsy” couples abducting children to provide slave wifes to their sons, and a cancer-stricken grieving mother whose husbands abducts and rapes women to provide her with her lost son.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0873962/

The unsub brings to life a sci-fi book whose author he mistakens for the birth mother who abandoned him as a child.
(Season 2, Episode 8: Empty Planet)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1110970/

The BAU travels to Denver, Colorado, where they investigate a series of home invasions that end in the murders of entire families. However, the case takes a turn when they begin to suspect that the killers were once-abused children. The foster environment unwittingly breeds future killers.
(Season 3, Episode 4: Children of the Dark)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1256089/

“Gypsy” couples abduct the daughters of the families they slain, to provide slave wifes to their sons. The abducted girls turn into abductors.
(Season 4, Episode 13: Bloodline)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1522954/

The team hunts a suspect who impregnates young women and has them give birth before murdering them if they do not provide sons, who are suppose to replace the child that his cancer-dying wife has lost.
(Season 5, Episode 5: Cradle to Grave)

Family tree cool tool: GenoPro Beta

I was looking for a tool to create a family tree.

And most of them were either scams, freeware for 7 days before you need to register, or malware of sort.

And because most of them are coming from America, and are often inspired by religious groups, some of which are specialized in collecting genealogical data to save their world, they are not really “pink” friendly: you can hardly ever have two parents (adoptive of the same gender0, often adoption is ignored or recomposed families are not possible.

I was delighted when I found GenoPro Beta, which met more than my needs. No need to worry about buying the full version, unless you are a genealogy fan. The free version is more than enough to work on the family tree as part of the education/preparation work prior to the home study.

It also has some features that may make it suitable to create ecomaps, but I am still looking at a proper ecomap freeware.

This is now documented here, including a link to download the tool: http://irishpinkadoptions.com/adoption-process/the-tools-you-will-need/family-tree/

Disclaimer: I have no personal, financial or any other sort of interest in this business.

Will you be here when I get home?

Not reviewed yet. On the recommended book list.

Will you be here when I get home?, Claire Cashin,
Mercier Press (Amazon or local book shop), 2006
Relevance to Irelandwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.com
Not reviewed yet, but Irish...
Overallwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.com
Not reviewed yet. On the AAI recommended book list.

Half a million women: mothers who lose their children by adoption

Not reviewed yet. On the recommended book list.

Half a million women: mothers who lose their children by adoption, Howe, Sawbridge, Hinings,
Penguin, 1992
Relevance to Irelandwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.com
Not yet reviewed. No rating yet…
Relevance to 'pink adoptions'www.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.com
Not yet reviewed. No rating yet…
Accessibilitywww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.com
Not yet reviewed. No rating yet…
Rigorwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.com
Not yet reviewed. No rating yet…
Overallwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.com
Not yet reviewed. Part of the list recommended in the framework.

Roof and roots

Not reviewed yet. On the recommended book list.

Roof and roots, Tolfree,
Save the Children Fund, 1995
Relevance to Irelandwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.com
Not yet reviewed. No rating yet…
Relevance to 'pink adoptions'www.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.com
Not yet reviewed. No rating yet…
Accessibilitywww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.com
Not yet reviewed. No rating yet…
Rigorwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.com
Not yet reviewed. No rating yet…
Overallwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.com
Not yet reviewed. Part of the list recommended in the framework.

Birth mothers, adoptive mothers and adopted daughters tell their stories

Not reviewed yet. On the recommended book list.

Birth mothers, adoptive mothers and adopted daughters tell their stories, Susan Wadia-Ells,
The Adoption Reader, 0
Relevance to Irelandwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.com
Not yet reviewed. No rating yet…
Relevance to 'pink adoptions'www.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.com
Not yet reviewed. No rating yet…
Accessibilitywww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.com
Not yet reviewed. No rating yet…
Rigorwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.com
Not yet reviewed. No rating yet…
Overallwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.com
Not yet reviewed. Part of the list recommended in the framework.

Motherhood silenced: the experiences of natural mothers on adoption reunion

Not reviewed yet. On the AAI recommended book list.

Motherhood silenced: the experiences of natural mothers on adoption reunion, R. Kelly,
Liffey press, Dublin (Liffey press, 2005
Relevance to Irelandwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.com
Not reviewed yet, but Irish...
Overallwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.comwww.dyerware.com
Not reviewed yet. On the AAI recommended book list.