By Noel on August 1, 2010
Gay Dads, David Strah with Susanna Margolis,
Penguin Group (USA) inc, 2004 |
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| Relevance to Ireland |   |
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| Another book from and about the USA, but because it is testimonial based, it has some universal relevance. But a lot is so dated that it does not take into account that people are more accepting of gay couples in Ireland, but that legally we are still backward, and that it is very unlikely that the adoptees profile will be anyting liek what these stories depict. Also the legal differences make the choices more restricted. |
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| Relevance to 'pink adoptions' | |
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| You'd think that it could not be more relevant! (For men), but an Irish gay man can feel miles away from this America, or they can feel very close! |
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| Readability | |
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| Easy reading, quick and diverse. The persistent racist terminology is unavoidable in such books, but still annoying. |
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| Rigor in the research/documentation | |
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| Not sure if it is really supported by a view on pink adoptions, or just a set of testimonials rearranged a bit artificially. Such books always have a theory behind them, and it is not clear which theory it is. Some of the motivations presented by some of the stories are borderline disturbing. (E.g., choosing the gender of the child) |
| Overall |  |
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| A good read to feel better about the prospect of being a pink household. |
Posted in Books, Reviews Tagged All sessions (pink), Books, Foster care, Gay men, Kinship, LGBT, Pink, Reviewed, Testimonials, USA
By Irish Pink Adoptions on June 29, 2010
Pressure groups for equal rights to marry have not come up with a strong public symbol.
This one is simple: a white knot.
Call the campaign: white knot, why not?
But it is just an American fad? Or can it be worn by us all, within a week?
No need to buy them: just pin a white ribbon made form a strip of white fabric.
And when asked at work, or at home, why you do it, simply answer that you believe that marriage is a human right, and that you are human too. And that it is time the government noticed.
Why not send one to your TD/Senator as well?
Original USA campaign: http://whiteknot.org
http://whiteknot.org/map-knots.html
FAQ: where can I find the white knots?
Not the same as: White ribbon
Posted in The law, Websites Tagged All sessions (pink), Ireland, Lobbying, Marriage, Reviewed, White Knot
By Irish Pink Adoptions on April 7, 2010
It can be read for free here: http://ns3.ucc.ie/en/appsoc/resconf/cstj/gender/DocumentFile,76670,en.pdf
| Same-sex marriage or partnership and adoption: debate for Ireland, Eimear Kavanagh, B.Soc.Sc., Critical Social Thinking: Policy and Practice, Vol. 1, UCC, 2009 |
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| Relevance to Ireland | |
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| An Irish study, looking at the modern Irish situation. |
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| Relevance to 'pink adoptions' | |
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| If same-gender families can marry, then they can adopt domestically, and they can more easily adopt internationally (in some cases). |
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| Accessibility | |
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| Very clear. |
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| Rigor | |
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| Very detailed. Maybe too much focus on GLEN's point of view. A more diverse point of view could have allowed an interesting exploration of disagreements within th gay community, but it may have risked to dissolve the point made by the study: parents can be good parents regardless of their sexuality, and children deserve to have their parent's relationship recognized as valid. |
| Overall | |
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| A very good argumentation in support of same-gender parenting. |
Posted in Publication, Reviews Tagged All sessions (pink), Free, Ireland, Pink, Reviewed, Study
By Irish Pink Adoptions on March 12, 2010
What to expect when you're adopting, Dr Ian Palmer,
Vermilion, London, 2009 |
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| Relevance to Ireland | |
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| The UK system is not the Irish one, but it is getting closer. |
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| Relevance to 'pink adoptions' | |
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| He made clear that for him adoptions is mostly a man/woman concern, even if he acknowledges extensively the existence and validity of single adoptions and LGBT couple's adoptions. There is a very odd passage (page 114) where he puts on the same plan announcing to your parents that you are gay and shoplifting, and assimilates questions in this area by the social worker to a 'shock tactic'. The overall feeling is one of condescension and political correctness that is not quite under control. |
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| Accessibility | |
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| Maybe a bit too condescending, but you will not get lost. Bored maybe, but not lost. |
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| Rigor | |
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He lost me when he said 'As they say, what does not kill you makes you stronger.' Or when he insist that the questions of the assessment are 'nothing personal' and are just a way for the social worker to discharge themselves of responsibility. How can that be 'the best interest' of the child?
It is symptomatic of the general feel of the book: full of generalizations without real insight or real practicality. Most headings sound like they will help you with a specific issue, but it boils down to: 'the issues exist, be aware of it, expect the issue, find yourself ways to be prepared and seek help if you cannot manage.' If anything it allows to structure your thoughts around your motivations and some of the main steps you will go through. |
| Overall | |
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Not top of my list, but it has it's good moments. You can just read the paragraph headings and seek help from other books, websites, professionals... because that is the core message of the book. It should be called 'When to expect you will need help.'
I would also recommend you read the adoption framework in Ireland first, so you do not get confused with the UK situation. |
Posted in Books, Reviews Tagged Books, Recommended list (AAI), Reviewed, Stage 1, UK
By Irish Pink Adoptions on March 4, 2010
Raising adopted children, Lois Ruskai Melina,
Harper Collins, NY (Amazon), 1998 |
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| Relevance to Ireland | |
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| It is not too country specific, but you fell the Americanisms. It contributes to the reassuring element of the book, but makes it a bit distant to a more pragmatic European sensibility. |
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| Relevance to pink adoptions | |
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| Very hetero-centric. It is only relevant to the extent that pink families are just like any families, so all that applies to them applies to us. But we strive to find any recognition of our reality. There is only half a page dealing with LGBT parents: 15 negative lines, and 10 positive ones, articulated by a 'however'. |
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| Accessibility | |
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| Practical and reassuring, as it says on the tin. Also, each heading delivers what is promised: actual real life experience and very touching emotional content. I felt like crying at every page as I coudl easily put myself in the situations described. |
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| Rigor | |
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| To feel the professional touch, without having suffer the heaviness of those who know-it-all. It has just enough fluffiness to showcase its seriousness. It also has an extended biography and listing of support material. |
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| Very good and sound advice for most, if you can pass the obvious 'Amercanicity' of it all, including cheap spirituality and the buy-in into the racist predjudice of the american society. <br>A must ready, if you can distance yourself from some of the fluff. Worth reading in any case, it is not dealing with processes but with people. It is very much a brain thinking with it's heart type of book. |
Posted in Books, Reviews Tagged Books, Must read, Recommended list (AAI), Reviewed, Stage 1, USA
By Irish Pink Adoptions on March 3, 2010
Not reviewed yet. On the recommended book list.
Being adopted, the lifelong search for self, Brodzinsky, Marantz Henig, Schecter,
Anchor Books, US (Amazon), 1993 |
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| Relevance to Ireland | |
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| It is all about US adoptions, but because it is not process oriented, it has some life-experience relevance to Ireland. |
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| Relevance to 'pink adoptions' | |
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| Only few pages are directly relevant to pink adoptions, especially the parts relating to international adoptions and to special needs adoptions in general. |
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| Accessibility | |
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| Very clear. Not emotional for the sake of it, but the last testimonial in the teenager's section is a tear jerker. |
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| Rigor | |
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| Good methodology, aware of its limitations. Testimonials are always relevant and do not lead to generalizations. It is mostly presenting phases of development and how being adopted impacts the child at different ages. |
| Overall | |
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| 100% focused on the point of view of the adoptee. It makes the case for being a supportive and open parent, who does not shy away from telling the child the truth, in an age appropriate manner. It promotes the idea that adoptive families really are different from other families, and why it is important to acknowledge it, and also accept that the child will have to cope with grief and loss, and there is nothing we can do to prevent it... all we can do is be supportive and open. |
Posted in Books Tagged Adoptees, Books, Recommended list (AAI), Reviewed, Session 5 (Facilitators), Stage 1, USA
By Irish Pink Adoptions on March 2, 2010
Not reviewed yet. On the recommended book list.
Real parents, real children: parenting the adopted child, Van Guiden, Bartels-Rabb
Crossroads Publishing, NY (Amazon), 1993 |
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| Relevance to Ireland | |
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| It is very much American-centered. It is using very antiquated 'racial' concepts, and only challenging them superficially. |
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| Relevance to pink adoptions | |
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| Very hetero-centric. It is only relevant to the extent that pink families are just like any families, so all that applies to them applies to us. But we strive to find any recognition of our reality. There is only a line about LGBT parents, in the introductio; there is a small section on gay children, mostly around the fear of homosexuality . But at least it makes the case that even if we are commited households, we are still not allowed to marry. What saves it is the sharp focus on international adoptions. |
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| Accessibility | |
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| A bit dry, and a bit 'old school psychology'. The kind of book you wish you never started, you are happy to have finished, and that you will find very useful having read. |
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| Rigor | |
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| Some very useful illustrations, and tables, for instance on the type of information to gather about birth parents and the country of origin. Very detailed review of all the age ranges, how adopting at that age impacts the child, and the family, and how to address issues for adopted children of that age. |
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| A must read. It is reinforcing a sense that we are entitled to feel entitled to our adoping household. After all we will have spend years preparing and being assessed. And then we will spend the rest of our lives dealing with adoption related issues in our kids from childhood to adulthood. Also worth re-reading the age sections when the child arrives, and when the child reaches those stages. |
Posted in Books, Reviews Tagged Books, Must read, Recommended list (AAI), Reviewed, Session 3, Stage 1, USA
It can be read for free here:
http://www.atlanticphilanthropies.org/learning/meeting-queer-minds
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