By Irish Pink Adoptions on March 12, 2010
What to expect when you're adopting, Dr Ian Palmer,
Vermilion, London, 2009 |
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| Relevance to Ireland |   |
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| The UK system is not the Irish one, but it is getting closer. |
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| Relevance to 'pink adoptions' | |
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| He made clear that for him adoptions is mostly a man/woman concern, even if he acknowledges extensively the existence and validity of single adoptions and LGBT couple's adoptions. There is a very odd passage (page 114) where he puts on the same plan announcing to your parents that you are gay and shoplifting, and assimilates questions in this area by the social worker to a 'shock tactic'. The overall feeling is one of condescension and political correctness that is not quite under control. |
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| Accessibility | |
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| Maybe a bit too condescending, but you will not get lost. Bored maybe, but not lost. |
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| Rigor |  |
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He lost me when he said 'As they say, what does not kill you makes you stronger.' Or when he insist that the questions of the assessment are 'nothing personal' and are just a way for the social worker to discharge themselves of responsibility. How can that be 'the best interest' of the child?
It is symptomatic of the general feel of the book: full of generalizations without real insight or real practicality. Most headings sound like they will help you with a specific issue, but it boils down to: 'the issues exist, be aware of it, expect the issue, find yourself ways to be prepared and seek help if you cannot manage.' If anything it allows to structure your thoughts around your motivations and some of the main steps you will go through. |
| Overall | |
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Not top of my list, but it has it's good moments. You can just read the paragraph headings and seek help from other books, websites, professionals... because that is the core message of the book. It should be called 'When to expect you will need help.'
I would also recommend you read the adoption framework in Ireland first, so you do not get confused with the UK situation. |
Posted in Books, Reviews Tagged Books, Recommended list (AAI), Reviewed, Stage 1, UK
By Irish Pink Adoptions on March 5, 2010
Not reviewed yet. On the AAI recommended DVD list.
Belonging, Li Da Kruger,
Iridescent Films Ltd (Email order), 2003 |
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Posted in Documentary Tagged Cambodia, Recommended list (AAI), Stage 1, UK, Video
By Irish Pink Adoptions on March 4, 2010
Raising adopted children, Lois Ruskai Melina,
Harper Collins, NY (Amazon), 1998 |
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| Relevance to Ireland | |
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| It is not too country specific, but you fell the Americanisms. It contributes to the reassuring element of the book, but makes it a bit distant to a more pragmatic European sensibility. |
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| Relevance to pink adoptions | |
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| Very hetero-centric. It is only relevant to the extent that pink families are just like any families, so all that applies to them applies to us. But we strive to find any recognition of our reality. There is only half a page dealing with LGBT parents: 15 negative lines, and 10 positive ones, articulated by a 'however'. |
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| Accessibility | |
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| Practical and reassuring, as it says on the tin. Also, each heading delivers what is promised: actual real life experience and very touching emotional content. I felt like crying at every page as I coudl easily put myself in the situations described. |
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| Rigor | |
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| To feel the professional touch, without having suffer the heaviness of those who know-it-all. It has just enough fluffiness to showcase its seriousness. It also has an extended biography and listing of support material. |
| Overall | |
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| Very good and sound advice for most, if you can pass the obvious 'Amercanicity' of it all, including cheap spirituality and the buy-in into the racist predjudice of the american society. <br>A must ready, if you can distance yourself from some of the fluff. Worth reading in any case, it is not dealing with processes but with people. It is very much a brain thinking with it's heart type of book. |
Posted in Books, Reviews Tagged Books, Must read, Recommended list (AAI), Reviewed, Stage 1, USA
By Irish Pink Adoptions on March 3, 2010
Not reviewed yet. On the recommended book list.
Being adopted, the lifelong search for self, Brodzinsky, Marantz Henig, Schecter,
Anchor Books, US (Amazon), 1993 |
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| Relevance to Ireland | |
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| It is all about US adoptions, but because it is not process oriented, it has some life-experience relevance to Ireland. |
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| Relevance to 'pink adoptions' | |
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| Only few pages are directly relevant to pink adoptions, especially the parts relating to international adoptions and to special needs adoptions in general. |
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| Accessibility | |
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| Very clear. Not emotional for the sake of it, but the last testimonial in the teenager's section is a tear jerker. |
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| Rigor | |
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| Good methodology, aware of its limitations. Testimonials are always relevant and do not lead to generalizations. It is mostly presenting phases of development and how being adopted impacts the child at different ages. |
| Overall | |
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| 100% focused on the point of view of the adoptee. It makes the case for being a supportive and open parent, who does not shy away from telling the child the truth, in an age appropriate manner. It promotes the idea that adoptive families really are different from other families, and why it is important to acknowledge it, and also accept that the child will have to cope with grief and loss, and there is nothing we can do to prevent it... all we can do is be supportive and open. |
Posted in Books Tagged Adoptees, Books, Recommended list (AAI), Reviewed, Session 5 (Facilitators), Stage 1, USA
By Irish Pink Adoptions on March 2, 2010
Not reviewed yet. On the recommended book list.
Real parents, real children: parenting the adopted child, Van Guiden, Bartels-Rabb
Crossroads Publishing, NY (Amazon), 1993 |
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| Relevance to Ireland | |
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| It is very much American-centered. It is using very antiquated 'racial' concepts, and only challenging them superficially. |
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| Relevance to pink adoptions | |
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| Very hetero-centric. It is only relevant to the extent that pink families are just like any families, so all that applies to them applies to us. But we strive to find any recognition of our reality. There is only a line about LGBT parents, in the introductio; there is a small section on gay children, mostly around the fear of homosexuality . But at least it makes the case that even if we are commited households, we are still not allowed to marry. What saves it is the sharp focus on international adoptions. |
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| Accessibility | |
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| A bit dry, and a bit 'old school psychology'. The kind of book you wish you never started, you are happy to have finished, and that you will find very useful having read. |
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| Rigor | |
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| Some very useful illustrations, and tables, for instance on the type of information to gather about birth parents and the country of origin. Very detailed review of all the age ranges, how adopting at that age impacts the child, and the family, and how to address issues for adopted children of that age. |
| Overall | |
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| A must read. It is reinforcing a sense that we are entitled to feel entitled to our adoping household. After all we will have spend years preparing and being assessed. And then we will spend the rest of our lives dealing with adoption related issues in our kids from childhood to adulthood. Also worth re-reading the age sections when the child arrives, and when the child reaches those stages. |
Posted in Books, Reviews Tagged Books, Must read, Recommended list (AAI), Reviewed, Session 3, Stage 1, USA
By Irish Pink Adoptions on March 1, 2010
Not reviewed yet. On the recommended book list.
In search of belonging, reflections by 'transracially' adopted people, Perlita Harris,
British Association of fostering and adoption (www.baaf.org.uk), 2006 |
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Posted in Books Tagged Books, Intercountry, Racism, Recommended list (AAI), Stage 1, UK
By Irish Pink Adoptions on March 1, 2010
Beyond good intentions: a mother reflects on raising internationally adopted children,
Cheri Register, Yeong and Yeong, Minnesota (Amazon), 2005 |
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| Relevance to Ireland | |
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| It is very much American-centered. But it is universal enough to be valuable. |
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| Relevance to pink adoptions | |
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| Quite mother-centric, but based on the idea that the 'mother role' can be held by men or women equally, it is relevant to both gay and lesbian couples. |
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| Accessibility | |
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| Very easy read. The writing can be tedious though, trying too hard to be literary. |
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| Rigor | |
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| I do not advise to start by reading this book. If you do you will be tempted to shut out valuable information from more complex books. It is a good book to relativize the knowledge acquired in such books as Real parents, real children: parenting the adopted child. But it tends to give permission to discard any uncomfortable truth by labeling it 'political correctness gone mad'; she is not doing it, but her writing can easily lead you to do it. But if you read without making excuses for yourself, it can be very challenging and refreshing. |
| Overall | |
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| Easy read, quick read: worth reading. But only after having read more demanding books, as a way to relax and take all the worrying advice with a pinch of salt. Read it first and you may be prejudiced and take the easy way out of the complexity of adoption. |
Posted in Books Tagged Books, Intercountry, Korea, Recommended list (AAI), Reviewed, Stage 1, USA
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